LONG AGO, I READ ABOUT A POPULAR AMERICAN WIFE who spoke roughly to her husband some minutes before their scheduled time for sexual intimacy.
When the time came, she walked into the bedroom dressed in “a new and most seductive” night gown to thrill him.
Her husband looked at her and turned his face the other way without the faintest sign of interest, pulled his feet into the bed and was soon fast asleep. The wife remembered her nasty utterance and blamed herself for ruining the evening. A wrong and hurtful attitude had stolen what they would have enjoyed. And of course, when an evening is ruined “like that”, the sad and dark shadow looms into the next day and might take a while to dissipate.
One of the greatest keys to being an astute lover in your marriage bedroom is RIGHT ATTITUDE. Some scriptures will be guiding us in this learning process.
(1) AGE IS NO BARRIER TO EXCELLENCE IN THE BEDROOM.
“They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing”(Psalm 92:14)
The scripture above implies that the righteous shall be sexually virile and active IN OLD AGE! That’s why they would bear children IN OLD AGE.
Don’t let anything make you believe that because you’re 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 or even 100 years old, you’re done and should retire from active sexual service to your Spouse. No! Only death is permitted to retire you from active sexual services in your marriage bedroom.
The Bible says that THE JUST SHALL LIVE BY FAITH and a very important part of your living is your sexual life where no one can stand in or deputize for you. You must engage your personal faith in that area like Caleb. SPEAK words of faith about yourself like he did. Hear him:
“AS YET I AM AS STRONG THIS DAY AS I WAS IN THE DAY THAT MOSES SENT ME: AS MY STRENGTH WAS THEN, EVEN SO IS MY STRENGTH NOW, FOR WAR, BOTH TO GO OUT, AND TO COME IN.” (Joshua 14: 11)
At this time Caleb was 85 years old! But look how he was boiling with zeal, rage and energy to fight and finish the giants on the mountain! How much easier then the bedroom duty of sleeping with his own wife! It’s men like this you should emulate in your bedroom life. He didn’t seek drugs and aphrodisiacs. Copy him!
(2) APPROACH SEXUAL INTIMACY WITH ENTHUSIASM JUST AS YOU’D DO YOUR FAVOURITE DISH OR FRUIT. NOT WITH COMPLACENCY!
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17 a)
Sexual intimacy is one of God’s best and highest gifts to married couples. Not only that, IT’S GOOD AND PERFECT!
Sadly, many Spouses drag their feet when it’s time for it because of their own personal hunch or hang-ups about it. It’s a most unfortunate and unbecoming behaviour towards such a lofty gift from God and an attitude of disregard for your Spouse. Even if you were gang raped in the past, your husband isn’t responsible for that, so why give him a frozen version of yourself when he needs you steamy and hot?
When you come into the bedroom with such negativity, you’ll most certainly perform poorly.
See sexual intimacy as what it is: GOD’S GOOD AND PERFECT GIFT and be merry when it’s time for it. An attitude of joy and enthusiasm puts you in the frame of mind to perform excellently in the bedroom.
(3) MAKE LOVE CHEERFULLY AND MERRILY
“FOR GOD LOVETH A CHEERFUL GIVER.”(2 Corinthians 9:7)
“HE THAT GIVETH, LET HIM DO IT WITH SIMPLICITY” (Romans 12: 8b)
During the time of sexual intimacy, you’re GIVING YOURSELF TO YOUR MARRIAGE PARTNER and it matters greatly your attitude at such a time.
God wants us to do ALL OUR GIVING with cheerfulness and simplicity. This includes your giving of sexual pleasure and satisfaction to your Spouse.
What does it mean to give sexual intimacy CHEERFULLY? It means to make love with glee, merriness, festivity, gayety, cheeriness, joviality and mirth!
And of course, to give with simplicity implies giving without any sense of pride or arrogance. Don’t approach your mate with the attitude of a Benefactor because you’re not. Everything you’re giving him or her, you received freely. So give with simplicity and a sense of gratitude that you’re privileged to be a steward of such a precious gift!
Some don’t do these. They’ll come into the bed with frowns and airs of self importance and superiority. Sometimes, it’s the wife who does this. And in some marriages, it’s the husband. Please, wives listen. Much of the lovemaking mechanism is in the hands of the husband. Put more plainly, YOU BOTH NEED HIM to get a good and lasting erection, right? When you, as a wife, are critical of your husband soon after undressing and you begin to talk something like: “Abeg o! I hope you will not take 40 minutes before gaining erection like you did last time. If it’s going to be like that, please tell me now, so that I go and sleep je-je!” When you talk like this, firstly you reproach and wound your man. Secondly, you’ve detached yourself from the vital loveplay process that should generate your mutual arousal. By your insensitive words you’ve said, “You’re on your own. Get the erection first, then we may continue.” Meanwhile, you are there to stimulate him with your enormous feminine allures and endowments and get him aroused.
Wives, don’t pitch yourself against your husband during the hour of intimacy, particularly if you know that he’s experiencing some struggles in his sexual life. It’s wrong and destructive for you to put him down. Instead, be a sensitive, cheerful, hearty and excited lovemaker to your man.
On the same note, husbands should mind their tongue during the golden hour or hours of sexual intimacy. Don’t speak or say anything that would hurt the feelings of your beloved wife.
(4) MAKE LOVE AS A SERVICE UNTO THE LORD
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or WHATSOEVER YE DO, DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD.” (1 Corinthians 10: 31)
Did you read the Scripture verse above? It says: WHATSOEVER YOU DO, DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD!
Making love to your Spouse in the bedroom is one of the “WHATSOEVER YOU DO”.
So, you can make love to each other with the consciousness that you are performing an act for the Lord to watch and be pleased. Does this sound strange to your ears? Well, be informed that God also enjoys your lovemaking and when you do it with the consciousness that He’s present and that you want Him to enjoy the episode, He’s happy.
God enjoys your lovemaking in the sense that what He created for you is enjoyable to you. It’s just like a father who bought his three years old boy a toy car. The little boy’s enjoyment of the toy car gives his Dad pleasure.
Similarly, your enjoyment of sexual intimacy gives God pleasure and a sense of fulfilment.
So whenever you make love, do it for the glory of God. When that is your motive, you’ll put in your best so your Spouse will tremendously enjoy it.
We’re going to close by reading a Poem written by a married couple, Dr & Mrs Joseph Bird, who made it their sexual practice to make love with the attitude of bearing in mind that God is always with them during the sublime act:
“WE MADE LOVE LAST NIGHT AND TODAY IS NEW,
BRAND NEW AND ALIVE…
WE MADE LOVE AND EVERYTHING WAS RECREATED
WE TALKED, WE LAUGHED, AND WE PRAYED TOGETHER WITH OUR BODIES.
AND YOU WERE PRESENT.
IT’S THEN THAT YOU ALWAYS ARE
ESPECIALLY THEN…
OUR CLOSENESS TO EACH OTHER
INCREASES AND MAKES MORE ALIVE OUR CLOSENESS TO YOU…
AND THIS MORNING!
THIS MORNING IS SUNRISE,
AND GROWING THINGS,
AND FEELINGS OF ANTICIPATION
TODAY IS NEW, BRAND NEW AND ALIVE,
AND THE SPIRAL OF OUR LOVEMAKING GOES ON,
DRAWING US TOGETHER UPWARD TOWARDS YOU.”
When practiced with love, cheerfulness sincerity and with the heart of glorifying God and being a blessing to your Mate as God intended, Sexual intimacy uplifts the spirits of Spouses, moves their mood from depressed and gloomy to euphoric and ecstatic! It refurbishes their worn and torn emotions and changes the weather of your marriage world and moves it to a new and higher altitude emotionally and spiritually as testified by the godly Poem above.
🔥🔥🔥 FAITH DECREE:
🔥LORD, OPEN THE UNDERSTANDING OF EVERY MARRIED PERSON READING THIS DEVOTIONAL PIECE AND GRANT THEM DEEP REVELATIONS OF WHAT YOUR GIFT OF SEXUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE TRULY IS. IN JESUS’ NAME I PRAY!🙏
🍷🍗 TAKE-HOME LESSON: THE WHOLE OF TODAY’S DEVOTIONAL TEACHING IS YOUR TAKE-HOME LESSON.
💕❤️ TONIGHT’S ONE FLESH ASSIGNMENT IN THE BEDROOM
Reread today’s devotional piece and discuss it.
💶💷💵 To support MAXIMUM MARRIAGE MINISTRIES in it’s work,
kindly send your financial gifts to the account below:
ANSELM AHMAN
2031779689
UBA
🎼🎶🎻🪗🎶🎼
ANOINTED MUSIC SECTION