THE NEW TESTAMENT MODEL GIVEN FOR MARRIED COUPLES TO FOLLOW OR EMULATE in their marital relationship is the relationship of Christ and the Church. This is why God commands husbands to love their wives supremely just as Christ loves the Church; while the wives should submit themselves to their husbands in EVERYTHING just as the Church does towards Christ.
When you look at Christ and the Church, you find a relationship that’s very consistent and strong.
Christ is always INTENSELY in love with the Church. He’s never slows down in His love and affection for her. Similarly, the Church is ever committed in it’s relationship with Christ despite thousands of years of hatred and persecution it has suffers and still suffers from the world for the sake of Christ.
Christ doesn’t demand the Church’s perfection to qualify her for His love. No. He loves her just the same way He did before coming to planet Earth to die for her: unconditionally. The Church also walks in the footsteps of Christ and loves, serves and adores Him even in the face of unmet needs and desires. This is our model, dear Spouses. Between Christ and the Church, loving each other consistently, intensely and unconditionally is not negotiable. It’s their mutually accepted pattern of relationship.
Similarly, Spouses should stir up themselves to always be affectionately in love with each other irrespective of negative circumstances.
How could this be achieved? Here’s how.
1) BELIEVE IN YOUR SPOUSE AND YOUR MARRIAGE.
Nothing is as powerful as faith and conviction.
Even God exercises faith and conviction.
After the Flood of Noah, God could have scrapped Marriage or modified it but didn’t. He still believed in Marriage as He instituted it in Eden and therefore pronounced the same blessing of Genesis 1:28 on Noah and his sons.
Believe in your marriage and in the person of your spouse as your God-given Lover.
What you believe will inspire your active and unrelenting investment. Your conviction will motivate you to go extra miles to ensure the success of what you believe in.
2) STOP FOCUSING ON THE PAST MISDEEDS OF YOUR SPOUSE.
Have you ever wondered why God hasn’t destroyed humanity yet, despite the great sins of men and women? It’s because He practices forgiving and forgetting men’s trespasses. Psalm 130:3 says:
“If you, O Lord, were to keep track of sins, O Lord, who could stand before you?”
Spouses must also practice forgiving and forgetting one another’s wrongs and transgressions.
3) GIVE YOURSELF TO YOUR SPOUSE TO ENJOY!
One key for keeping your romance fresh is offering yourself to your Mate. Our anchor scripture is the statement of a lover who staunchly admitted that she belonged to her man and that his desire is always for her.
Spouses must learn to offer themselves to satisfy each other’s desire before someone outside does it.
4) CLEAVE TO EACH OTHER EVERY MOMENT
The cleaving in Genesis 2:24 isn’t just something you do during the honeymoon and thereafter stop. No. You need to cleave to each mentally, emotionally and physically every second of the day. A good example of this level of relationship is what we see between the couple in the song of Solomon. They’re ever in love: in each other’s presence and while apart. That’s what birthed their love songs.
Deliberately choose to walk in “high love” with your Spouse. Choose to be drunk with them and you’ll indeed be intoxicated with them.
5) USE “THE SIGNATURE PRACTICES OF MARRIED LOVERS” EVERY DAY.
Kissing, embracing, touching, hugging, fondling, cuddling up together, caressing and romancing: all these are the signature practices of married couples. They’re to characterize your relationship continually. Touching each other keeps you in touch with one another romantically. So practice them even when you’re not in the mood because they’re powerful mood resetters. They help to refuel the fire of your mutual love and romance making them burn brighter and higher.
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