WHEN YOU READ THE SONG OF SOLOMON OVER AND OVER, you’ll find that one of the secrets of the glorious love story of the couple in that book is that they were both highly enthusiastic Lovers. The man was head over heels in love with the woman and the woman was superlatively in love with him! This confirms the scripture in Amos:
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3: 3)
It’s unfortunate that in our time, many Spouses are seemingly being dragged along unwillingly in a marriage they fully and voluntarily consented to. Why? Because a part of them is not fully in the union.
I once overhead a housewife telling a younger housewife as they conversed: “My dear, you know what? These husbands we say we have married, these are no real husbands ooh! We really haven’t married yet.” She said this in my hearing over twenty two years ago. But do you know what? We’re in 2025 and she’s still married to the same man and hasn’t left him. Now, tell me how a woman could function optimally in a marriage she doesn’t believe in and a Spouse she’s convinced isn’t “a proper husband”? Thankfully, the younger woman she tried to convert to her strange belief only heard her but didn’t allow herself to be fooled.
When you don’t believe in your marriage and your Spouse, you’re not only maritally endangered but are of all Spouses most miserable.
In our anchor scriptures, the Song of Solomon Lady was asked by some women to explain why she thought that her Man was the best. She wasn’t caught unawares by their question and her answer wasn’t slow in coming either.
She began by declaring her man as the best among 10,000. Now, when did she conduct a Survey and arrive at this answer? Well, she didn’t embark on any Survey. HER LOVE did all the necessary analysis LONG AGO and arrived at that sure conclusion: her man was the best among 10,000!
She believed it and therefore knew that she knew that she knew that she knew that her Spouse was the VERY BEST! With that kind of mindset, how would such a woman turn aside to extramarital affairs?
Even after getting married, some Spouses are still saying, “If I had my way, it’s Adugà I would have married and not Akēbé who’s now my husband. Adugà and I just had a mild argument and we separated. If not, he’s the one I would have married.” They forget that there is a God in Heaven Who rules in affairs of men; and who sometimes steps in and alters our well laid out but faulty plans just to save us. Please, be patient with me and let me share two real life stories with you.
A) Just yesterday, I watched a video about a Farmer who struggled and bought tickets for his himself, his wife and their children to travel on the famous Titanic as it was to make it’s maiden voyage from England to America.
However, a few days to the dream journey, his dog bit one his children. That dog bite accident kept them from travelling on the gorgeous ship. But a few days after the massive oceanliner had left, news came that it had hit a huge iceberg and drowned! This time, he was grateful to God for sparing the life of his family through A DOG BITE! God allowed the dog bite to save his entire family from DEATH.
2) A lady and her Groom already had their Wedding Invitation Cards in circulation when the young man(her Groom) came to tell her that he was quitting the relationship. For her, it was a horrifying nightmare.
Two weeks after calling the wedding off, this young man wedded another lady.
In a year’s time, he had a baby with his “new wife”. Not long after, they relocated to a foreign country. News about the man’s success story somehow kept finding their way to the lady he ditched and left heartbroken.
And every time she heard of his upward mobility and successful life with his “new wife” she’d shed tears, saying that she was the one that should have been enjoying that success.
Then one day, as she was reading a newspaper, she flipped open a page and saw an Obituary announcement. To her shock it was the Obituary announcement of the man who jilted her. This time, she didn’t shed tears. She just REALIZED that God ALLOWED him to do what he did to her to save her from early widowhood!
Dear Spouses, stop thinking that you could have married someone BETTER. The person you now have as your husband or wife isn’t just good but THE VERY BEST SPOUSE FOR YOU!
Don’t be like the Jews to whom God sent their long awaited Messiah but didn’t recognize Him when He came as Jesus Christ; but instead hated, opposed and eventually crucified him. Don’t end up crucifying your God-given marriage Partner!
One of the causes of extramarital affairs is the folly of thinking that there are men/women “out there” that are better than your spouse and that you married your Mate by mistake. Don’t give in to this folly anymore.
Be like the Spouses in the Song of Solomon who always enthusiastically celebrated each other. That’s how to be a wise Spouse in marriage.