WE HAVE SO FAR TAKEN a look at six things that you must nourish your marriage with for it to thrive and they are: RESPECT, COMPANIONSHIP, ROMANTIC LOVE, LIVING YOUR MARRIED LIFE WITH ZEST AND ADOUR, SEXUAL LOVE; and POLITENESS AND CIVILITY.

Today, we are looking at one more thing that’s crucial to the health, growth and happiness of your Marriage and it is PUTTING YOUR PARTNER FIRST.

Yes, God wants us to live joyfully with our Mate. However, the big secret for making this a reality is practicing the lifestyle of putting your spouse ahead of you. In other words, Look out for the happiness of your mate before yours.

As a young born again Christian, I was taught that the secret of JOY is: JESUS FIRST.
OTHERS NEXT, and then YOU last(J.O.Y)

The undoing of many Spouses is selfishness and self-centeredness. This singular malady is in all areas of their marriage. For instance, their Spouse is sleeping right beside them in the dead of the night and they’re waking up to listen to some music on YouTube without an earpiece. And when their Mate complains that their sleep is being disturbed the offending “music lover” doesn’t admit they’re wrong. Instead they raise their voice…in the dead of the night. It goes something like this: “You mean someone cannot listen to music in the night just because you’re sleeping?” Yet this self-centered Spouse is a leader in Church and is shouting at the top of his voice because his spouse complained that he played music without an earpiece at 2: 00 AM in the night!

And in some marriages this self-centeredness is wrecking havoc in the marriage bedroom. For the past fifteen years, they’ve been using one and same position for lovemaking and one of them has complained tens of times that they need to change position as the “15 years old style” has become boring. Again the self-centered Mate is resistant and insistent that the 15 years old position must NOT be changed. How could that marriage thrive when one partner is a Pharoah that perpetually subjugates the other?

Marriage is a love relationship and for yours to thrive, you must become OTHER FOCUSSED or SPOUSE FOCUSSED. In other words, you must be focussed on seeing the happiness of your mate before yours. This is how to walk in love with your mate.

When I was in Ibadan, a divorced woman told me that one of the causes of the collapse of her marriage was her persistent denial of Sex to her husband. She gave him Sex only when she chose. Again this is self-centeredness.

In some homes, the self-centeredness is expressed in form of possessiveness. Because most of the things in the home came through them they overtly control their mate’s use of the things in the home. This ought not to be so. Where there’s Love the behaviour of the Spouse through whom most blessings come into the home would be like that of the early Christians in the early Church:

“And all that believed were together, and had all things common”(Acts 2:44a)

“And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: NEITHER SAID ANY OF THEM THAT OUGHT OF THE THE THINGS WHICH HE POSSESSED WAS HIS OWN; but they had all things common.”(Acts 4:32) Can you see the spirit of unselfishness as demonstrated in the early Church? There was no possessiveness. This is how it should be in every Marriage. If God’s blessings are flowing into the union through you, be humble. Know that it’s God and not you. Don’t make your Mate feel small because of what they’re not able to bring into the home.

Let’s wrap up today’s teaching with a true life story. A Pastor realized that his Wife wasn’t climaxing during their intimate times. Rather than calling her “a cold and frigid woman” as many selfish husbands do to cover up their poor bedroom performances, this Servant of God took it upon himself to painstakingly seek for how his wife would experience fulfillment in their bedroom Life as God desires for every couple. After a long fruitless search, he finally met a marriage counselor who told him to pay attention to stimulating his wife’s Clitoris during intimacy. According to the Pastor, he had never heard anything about the Clitoris in his entire life. Well, how about the Wife? She was as ignorant about the Clitoris as her husband! The lesson here is that the husband was a conscientious and UNSELFISH MAN who sought for the sexual fulfillment and happiness of his wife. With what he discovered about the Clitoris, their bedroom Life became brand-new and the Wife became fulfilled sexually. Most wive’s refuse to have Sex with their husbands because the man is always only after his own satisfaction and never makes any efforts to see them fulfilled in bed. Once he’s satisfied, the next thing is to sleep and snore away while the Wife stays awake considering the encounter a loss. And when this is the pattern all the time, the woman is likely to hate Sex with him because he’s a bore. But let’s hear what God’s Word says:

“We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
LET EVERY ONE OF US PLEASE HIS NEIGHBOUR FOR HIS GOOD to edification.
FOR EVEN CHRIST PLEASED NOT HIMSELF;”(Romans 15:1-3a)
Don’t just think of yourself alone for that’s meanness and God detests it. Have a thought for your Mate’s happiness. Put them FIRST, BEFORE and ABOVE YOUR OWN INTERESTS and your union will be full of the true love and peace of God.

💕❤️ TODAY’S ONE FLESH ASSIGNMENT
Tonight, discuss the Devotional piece for today. Repent of all your self-centeredness over the years. Let your Mate’s long-suffering over your persistent selfishness come to an end.

❤️💕🌴 MARRIAGE REVOLUTION CONTINUES!💕💞❤️💚🌴💕💕💞❤️🌴💕💞❤️💕🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴