🖼️💛🌹🎈During the third-term holiday of my second year in secondary school, I attended a wedding. At the end of the ceremony, I heard women referring to the newly married young woman as “Our wife, our wife!” Being ignorant of Scriptures, I had no idea that it was grossly wrong.
Much later in life, I came to understand that male relatives of deceased husbands often take advantage of the so-called “Our Wife, Our Wife” cultural framework to exploit widows, the most painful aspect being sexual exploitation and abuse. In some cultures, widows are required to present themselves for sexual intercourse in the name of performing customary “sexual cleansing.” This is not just wrong and unjust; it is pure wickedness!

🖼️💛🌹🎈OVER ONE YEAR AGO
Over a year ago, a matriarch—an elderly woman and the head among the wives of her late husband—told me, with much grief, how during the mourning period of their late husband (there were four wives), the closest relative of the deceased, who was actually supposed to be the chief mourner, would not let them mourn in peace. He was always coming to sleep with the younger wives of the deceased, even during the daytime. He simply would not let them be! Neither shame nor decency could restrain his unbridled lust.

🖼️💛🌹🎈AND THE VULTURES SWOOPED ON HER
Case number two: A young, struggling man died suddenly. Then the extended family told the young widow to remain within the family because, according to them, it was their culture. Being young and naive, she obediently consented.

🖼️💛🌹🎈AND HER NIGHTMARES BEGAN
As she did, her long season of sexual ordeal and nightmares began.
The relatives of her husband, men much older than her husband, began taking turns visiting her at night to sleep with her. With this arrangement, there was probably a man abusing her every night, with no free night for her to rest. The “Our Wife, Our Wife” culture was at work. She became pregnant and gave birth to a child; then came another pregnancy and another child. When her spirit could no longer endure their wickedness and blatant sexual exploitation, she rebelled and left.
How much better it would have been if she had found the courage to leave immediately after completing the mourning period for her husband!

🖼️💛🌹🎈SCRIPTURE MUST CRUSH CULTURE
The Bible has no place for the so-called “Our Wife, Our Wife” cultural belief and the evils it breeds. Scripture is very clear on what marriage is: a union between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24). Every marriage is a new and independent unit, free from being tied to the apron strings of the husband’s parents or relatives.

🖼️💛🌹🎈WHO OWNS THE WIFE?
Scripture is also very direct on who owns the wife. Her husband is her head and her rightful covenant partner. It has been that way from the beginning in Eden: God made Eve and gave her to Adam (Genesis 2:22–23). Therefore, a wife is never owned by her husband’s relatives, extended family, or clan.

🖼️💛🌹🎈WAKE UP, HUSBANDS! BE PROACTIVE NOW!!!
Dear husband, are your relatives calling your wife “Our wife, our wife”? Then you need to wake up and put a stop to it. However, you must go about it with wisdom, maturity, and tact. Nonetheless, you must address it. You must impress upon them that she is your wife, not “our wife.”
To avoid the sexual abuse often meted out to wives after the death of their husbands, a wise husband firmly instructed his younger wives ahead of time to leave his village and return to their people as soon as their mourning period was over. He took a proactive step.

🖼️💛🌹🎈CONCLUSION
Every husband who comes from a community where widows are sexually victimised and molested by their husbands’ relatives should be proactive and put measures in place to protect his wife after his passing. Where necessary, have a legal document prepared by your lawyer to shield your dear wife from vultures who use culture as a tool to perpetrate wickedness. 🖼️

💕❤️ Tonight’s Bedroom Assignment:
Reread this devotional together just before bedtime and discuss it with an open and sincere heart.

📚📖✒️ Quotes For Reflection:
“Just as the human body is daily washed, brushed, groomed, dressed, and given the extra touch of perfume, so also do couples need to give attention to their matrimonial one-flesh life by being loving, lenient, understanding, kind, compassionate, and merciful toward each other, so that offences do not arise too frequently and make their one-flesh body dirty and smelly.”(Anselm Ahman. Lovebirds’ Devotional, May 29, 2026)

✝️ Altar Call:
Jesus Christ is calling you! Come to Him today and be saved!

🌡️⚗️ Scientific Info To Boost Your Marriage:
“One of the top libido-boosting fruits is Watermelon🍉🍉🍉. Often called “nature’s Viagra,” it is packed with L-citrulline, an amino acid that converts to L-arginine. This relaxes blood vessels and improves blood flow to intimate areas.”

🎸🎷🪘 Anointed Music Section