🪵🤎🤎🪵According to Dr. Tim LaHaye and Beverly LaHaye, in their best-selling book, The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love, “Time in buildup is probably the main difference between a husband who is a mediocre lover in bed and one who is a fantastic lover.”

🧱In the quotation above, two kinds of men are presented: the mediocre lover in bed and the fantastic lover.

🪵🤎🤎🪵ACCORDING TO THE LAHAYES
According to that quotation, which itself is from a notable book recognised globally as an excellent and Bible-based publication on sexual life in marriage, time spent building up arousal is very critical to success in sexual intimacy in marriage.

🪵🤎🤎🪵BUILDING UP IS IN EVERYTHING
God designed life such that “building up” is necessary in very many things.

🍉When you set your kettle, which is full of water, on the gas cooker, it doesn’t start boiling instantly, right? It begins by becoming lukewarm, then warm, then hot, then very hot, and finally reaches boiling point. The same process should apply in the bedroom.

🥕There should always be a buildup from non-arousal to increasing levels of arousal until both of you, especially the wife, reach the point where her arousal is so high that she can’t wait any longer for penetrative lovemaking. Then, you can unite and journey together into the dizzying atmosphere of love.

🪵🤎🤎🪵GRADUALISM
In one of our more recent editions of Lovebirds’ Devotional, titled “GRADUALISM,” we taught on this same subject. Below is part of what we said in that devotional piece:

🍎“Gradualism is the concept or process of change happening gradually and in small steps rather than through sudden, drastic shifts. That’s why a child starts in nursery school and moves upwards gradually through several years of primary school education before proceeding to secondary school, and so on.

🥭In marriage, kissing, embracing, hugging, smooching, and the myriad of other lovely expressions of passion and affection that God approves of are not only good and important; they are imperative because they are the primary building blocks with which good, durable, and memorable times of intimacy are constructed.

🎉Lovemaking shouldn’t begin with the husband immediately proceeding to intercourse as soon as they are in bed, as many men hurriedly do. It should be a gradual process that begins with those basic building blocks for constructing memorable intimacy that we mentioned earlier. This is what makes bedroom life a win-win experience for both parties—the husband and the wife—and ensures that neither feels used and discarded.”

🪵🤎🤎🪵NO MAN WANTS BEDROOM MEDIOCRITY
No husband wants the tag “bedroom mediocre” placed on his name in the mind of his wife. The answer, as we have seen in the quotation from The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love, is to go about lovemaking unhurriedly.

🦋Spend time building up the sensual response of your wife, and never pressure her to “hurry up and be ready” when she is not naturally and fully prepared for intercourse.

🩷According to the LaHayes, “A strong corollary exists between the time spent making love and the wife’s orgasmic accomplishments.”

🧡Simply put, a wife’s sexual satisfaction in every session of lovemaking depends very much on the length and quality of that session. And when it comes to the length of time spent making love, a lot depends on the husband because it often boils down to his ability and expertise in delaying ejaculation long enough to his wife’s advantage. Thankfully, this is something any husband can learn.

🪵🤎🤎🪵LOVEMAKING IS AN ART
Lovemaking is an art.

🍂And in every form of art, ranging from dancing, painting, debating, singing, and playing a musical instrument to our present subject, lovemaking, there is always both the need and the room for improvement.

🍄Any singer can sing better than they do now.

🏵️Any dancer can dance even better.

🌻So also can any husband improve his lovemaking skills. Getting better and better is what transforms a husband into a fantastic lover, in contrast to the “bedroom mediocre” mentioned by the LaHayes.

🪵🤎🤎🪵SEEK TO BE A FANTASTIC LOVER
Of course, no spouse should be required at any time to announce whether their spouse satisfies them sexually or not. However, it is important for marriage partners to be conscientious enough to reason that, since their mate depends on them for sexual companionship and satisfaction within marriage, they are duty-bound to give their spouse the best of their lovemaking each time.

🌾This is actually the consciousness and mindset of the fantastic lover.

🪵🤎🤎🪵WIFE, BE RAVISHING
It also needs to be said that the wife has a pivotal role to play in ensuring that their bedroom life remains vibrant. She must reject passivity and be an active lover who sweeps her husband off his feet (Proverbs 5:19c).

🌹A ravishing wife can set her husband’s heart ablaze with affection and desire in the bedroom.
💐Here’s one scripture that will help the wives to know that God desires them to be super active in the hours of lovemaking:
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, LET EVERY MAN HAVE HIS OWN WIFE, AND LET EVERY WOMAN HAVE HER OWN HUSBAND.”(1 Corinthians 7: 2).
🍄The word HAVE in the verse above is addressed to both husband and wife respectively. That word has two meanings and each of them applies to both husband and wife equally.
🌴First, it means own a spouse that’s all yours. Secondly, it means: make love to your spouse. This means it’s not the husband alone that should make love to the wife. The wife is demanded by this scripture to also make love actively to her husband. And this should be full throttle lovemaking by each of the spouses.

🌿Infact, I remember when I preached in a two-day marriage seminar that was strictly for Pastors and their wives. I set aside all euphemisms and indirect communication and told the preachers and their wives point blank: “Apart from getting married, 1 Corinthians 7:2 is saying: Husband fuck your wife and wife fuck your husband!” Sometimes, there’s great need to communicate explicitly so the people will know exactly what the Word of God is really saying.

🪵🤎🤎🪵CONCLUSION:
As we have already said, lovemaking is an art and there’s need to improve your performance. If as husband your power of ejaculatory control could last three minutes when you got married twenty years ago, you shouldn’t be on that level today. Train yourself to be able to hold back for as long as your wife needs it.

🌷As we have taught in the past, a husband should ejaculate only when the wife tells him to do so. And that’s when she has enjoyed herself enough and tells him, “Sir, you can bring it to an end.”

🪹But I must add that the ability of love prolongation is not automatic. It’s something a husband has to learn. This means that the wife must be available to pair up with him for frequent lovemaking so he’ll learn. He must not learn with another woman as that would be Adultery.🤎🪵

💕♥️🩷Tonight’s Bedroom Assignment:
Re-read this devotional together just before bedtime and discuss it with open and sincere hearts.

 ✝️Altar Call: Jesus Christ is calling you! Come to Him today in genuine repentance. Believe in Him and be saved!

 🌡️🧪⚗️Scientific Info To Boost Your Marriage:
🔬Science shows that daytime and morning intimacy can be uniquely beneficial for married couples due to peak hormone levels, higher energy, and lower daily fatigue.”🔬

🎷🪘🎙️🪗 HALLELUJAH!
📢PRAISE THE LORD!